The Angle

The Tailgate: United Begins Preseason in Arizona

by on 24 January 2017

This week we ask the fans: “Minnesota United began its preseason in Arizona this week as the club slowly builds toward a full opening day roster. What is your take on Minnesota kicking off its season?”


“Arizona? Our guys better have their work papers in pristine order.”

Brianna Beliocek, Milkperson


 “As long as Brent Kallman winds up playing for the ‘skins’ team, I’m happy.”

Aliyah Johnson, Urbane Planner



“Teams that lose preseason games should be relegated.  Teams that have more social media followers should be promoted. Restaurants in Arizona the players don’t like should be relegated on Yelp. Please, God, help me I can’t stop. End this suffering! #ProRel4Everything”

Ryan Gustafson, JDate Matchmaker

“Preseason camp in Arizona is never a good idea. Every night you can hear a coyote rustling outside of your tent, smelling your delicious blood — smelling your fear.”

Teri Aggeliki, Columnist/Rowist


“Look… No, I can’t hold this two-pole any higher. Why? I… Do you know who I am? I’m trying, this is as high as… Goddammit!”

John McCain, Arizona Senator

What do YOU think? Tell us in the comments.

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  • eddieoh

    I would like to visit Arizona for a couple days, and watch some of the training, like they do in Florida for the Twins baseball…. 🙂

  • Etch

    Be careful boys . Everything there can bite ya, sting ya, burn ya, prick ya, or poison ya. And then there are ongoing Valley Fever epidemics too.
    So you should be ready for anything if you do well at camp.

  • Tim Reppe

    Nice nod to the Onion here.

    Don’t burn any bridges with Phoenix Rising.