The Tailgate: The Loons Get a Draw

by on 20 March 2017

This week we ask the fans: “Minnesota United earned its first points in MLS this week, drawing 2-2 with the Colorado Rapids. Does this make you more excited about the team?”


“As a fan of the rest of Minnesota’s sports teams, this ‘not losing’ concept is pretty confusing and different, I won’t lie.”

Dale Snelling, Account Executive


 “I really think it was nice of Supreme Overlord Arthur Blank to let us have a point, you know? Blank Be Praised!”

Alma Melting, Zine Editor


“When I invented soccer in 2009, I never considered the possibility that a road draw in Colorado would be such a source of relief.”

Dylan Retspi, Seattle Sounders Founder


“If you draw a line on this graph representing Minnesota’s goals allowed, and one representing its goals scored, they intersect over here — right next to where Vadim Demidov usually stands while the other team is putting the ball in the net.”

Laurel Larpenteur, Graph Paper Sales Executive

“I took my eye off the ball this week, I’ll admit it, but I’m going to get back to punishing Minnesotans next week. You all KNOW why. Don’t try and play dumb with ME.”

God, Creator of the Universe


What do YOU think? Tell us in the comments.

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