The Angle

The Tailgate: Minnesota Earns Its First Win

by on 5 April 2017

This week, we ask the fans: “Minnesota United FC celebrated its first MLS victory this weekend with a resounding 4-2 win over visiting Real Salt Lake. What’s your take on United’s first win?”


“If that’s what Ramirez plays like when he’s spent the week latched to a toilet, he’s going to love this Golden Boot chicken I’m cooking for him.”

Clute Griggly, Coffin Inspector



 “That must have been why those Mormon missionaries came by Sunday to ask if I’d let Christian Ramirez into my heart.”

Skip Gunderson, Pastor’s Chauffeur



“If we can beat a team ranked dead last in MLS, playing with an interim coach, with three of four starting defenders injured, at home, I think we can beat anybody.”

Thun Yi, Professional Optimist


“It really showcased our city’s commitment to sustainability when delirious fans lit recycling bins on fire and overturned light rail cars and bicycles.”

Lemon Phillips, Abstract Sandwich Artist



“I said I wouldn’t bathe until Minnesota won a game and now I’m going to need to come up with another excuse.”

Gregory Whitbread, TSA Groper


What do YOU think? Tell us in the comments.

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