The Angle

The Tailgate: NPSL North Kicks off This Week

by on 10 May 2017

This week, we ask the fans: “The newly formed National Premier Soccer League (NPSL) North begins play this weekend, with teams from around the northern Midwest vying to become champions of its inaugural season. What’s your take on the next level of soccer kicking off?”


“So NPSL is like the fourth tier? Wait, so they stop counting below the third tier? Okay so it’s third tier? No, there isn’t even an actual third tier at all right now? So then NPSL is… like… I mean, you know what, go Liverpool!”

Gayla Bean, Datum Analyst

 “Even guys like Chris Wondolowski have NPSL experience, so it will be kind of fun to watch them now before they hit the big time and f—ck up the World Cup for everybody.”

Bryce Marshall, Seinfeld Historian


“Most high school football stadiums don’t sell beer, which is why I always sneak in a condom full of Appalachian moonshine.”

Dylan Retspi, Door-to-Door Door Salesman


“They say NPSL games are a little more friendly, but I don’t know, you can hear my husband and I arguing from anywhere in the stadium.”

Dawn Franklin, Mother of Two

“I’m sure one of these clubs can step up financially and sign Raúl and Marcos Senna, right?”

Burt Hodgman, Spambot Manufacturer



What do YOU think? Tell us in the comments.

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  • Lalala

    Wow. T. Herman Zweibel is gonna sue your asses off.

    • Offensive Loons Fan

      When he gets back from wherever he is, likely living outside of space and time.

  • Pete Bissen

    Always a good laugh at these.

  • MmattN

    Dylan Retspi looks like Jamie Watson

  • Karsten Piper

    I’m getting a really strong Manley Pointer vibe off of that ‘ipster Retspi.