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The Tailgate: CONCACAF Gold Cup Begins

by on 5 July 2017

This week, we ask the fans: “The CONCACAF Gold Cup — the premier international level soccer tournament of North America, Central America, and the Caribbean —kicks off on Friday. What is your take on this year’s competition?”

 

“If there were any justice in this world, the winner would be promoted to South America and the loser would be relegated to Antarctica.”

Glap Scumbles, Televised Blackjack Announcer


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“If you can’t find Curaçao on a map, you are an out of touch, Euro-centric xenophobe. And if you can find it on a map, you are trivia junkie and geography nerd.”

Rita Smithfield, Cottage Industrialist

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“What were the Jamaicans smoking when they decided to call up Jermaine Taylor? I…oh. Really?”

Shayna Morgans, Presidential Twitter Denier
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“First they put the color TVs in the prisons, then they give away participation trophies, and now third place teams in the group stage get into the knockout rounds. Thanks, Obama.”

Blint Evian, Coal Mine Canary Cremator

 

“I, Dom Dwyer, forward for Sporting Kansas City and USMNT call-up for the Gold Cup, am excited about my upcoming appearance in this tournament. So is my wife, Sydney Leroux Dwyer, to whom I am married because I am Dom Dwyer. Again, my name is Dom Dwyer.”

Dom Dwyer, USMNT Forward

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What do YOU think? Tell us in the comments.


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  • Dave Williams

    Very funny! Well done.
    Of course I well know Curacao, new home of Aston Villa midfielder Leandro Bacuna, who realized U21 was the ceiling for his Dutch career.

    • Marcia Seelhoff

      Nerrrrrrrrrrd!!!