FiftyFive.One

FiftyFive.One’s Wes Burdine calls a random Swede to talk about the Euros, but not unlike your average Minnesotan, the conversation eventually turns to hockey.

“Hello?”

There is a crackle and digital lag as we greet one another. I can’t tell if he can hear me. “Hello, my name is Wes. I’m calling from Minnesota and I’d like to talk about soccer.”

There is another pause. “Ooooh,” the man on the other end of the call laughs painfully, “oh this is not a good day to talk about soccer.”

I called a Random Swede. Ever since Sweden announced their dedicated phone number where you can “Get connected to a random Swede and talk about anything,” I’ve been wanting to call. Minnesotans love to play up the Scandinavian heritage and even though there has been scant connection between Swedish and Minnesotan soccer (Danny Cruz played in Norway, does that count?), I thought it was too good to pass up.

And I chose the day the Swedes were unceremoniously booted from the Euros. Perhaps it’s mean or insensitive, but they did say “talk about anything.” Besides, Lahrs seemed happy to talk about it. Or perhaps he was just being politely Swedish.

I ask Lahrs how he felt about the tournament and he seems remarkably positive about the Swedes’ performances. “I think I am not so disappointed in the Belgium and Italian games,” he says. “They played quite good. They didn’t score, but played quite good. The first game, it was really, really bad. They didn’t have any creative playing at all in the game against Ireland.”

Then, of course, I ask about Zlatan. I’ve always heard mixed reports on how Swedes perceive their larger-than-life superhero, but Lahrs had no hesitation when I asked if Swedes would remember him kindly. “Absolutely, for many years to come. He is the greatest of all time,” he says before adding, “There is no discussion about it.”

We talk about Zlatan’s future a bit and Lahrs is pleased that Zlatan would [likely] be going to Manchester United. After that, Lahrs says, he will go to China or the US. He tells me that Zlatan won’t go to the US until he’s ready to retire.

Without Zlatan, I wonder if the Swedish team had a bright future and Lahrs is hopeful. “They have a lot of young guys, but it takes some years before they [will] have a good solid team, probably four or five years. They don’t all have to be Zlatan, but if we have somebody, one guy who can come near that level, it would be good.”

On that front, Lahrs is excited by John Guidetti. “In two years, maybe,” he says, “I think he will be the brightest star. He will be a great player, I really hope. He has lots of energy and big heart.”

And will they qualify for the World Cup? This question earns his longest silence, broken by words that themselves are parenthetically wrapped in silence: “I… hope… so… yes,” before he resumes normal speaking pace, “but probably not, probably not.”

Then I turn to local soccer. Lahrs lives in Stockholm, so I ask him to tell me about his local club, which he says is Djurgårdens. (Fun fact: that name is just as crazily pronounced as you think it is, roughly transcribed as: you-eee-Gor-den.) But Lahrs doesn’t really follow soccer, he finally tells me. The national team, yes, but he’s a hockey fan.

“I can tell you much more if you ask about hockey teams,” he laughs and I tell him that’s what I was hoping for. I ask if Djurgårdens is any good and he says, the Swedish league is not particularly good. He lists off all the major leagues from Europe: “They are much, much better. The best Swedes, they go abroad.” (This strikes me as entertainingly different to a large portion of American soccer fans–myself included at times–who would respond to this question with a need to perhaps oversell the local quality of soccer.)

Lahrs does, however, watch hockey. His home team is 933 kilometers away (he just made that trip today) in northern Sweden: Luleå HF. He tells me, they’re good: “top four in Sweden.”

For a bit of local connection, I ask what he knows about Minnesota. “I know a lot of Swedes went there in the 1800s,” and then he turns to hockey, “what is the name of the team there?” “The Wild,” I tell him and then we both wonder aloud whether or not they are NHL (I do know they’re NHL, but then when he asks if they’re AHL I start to think, “wait, is hockey like baseball with an American and National League? And by this point I realize that I don’t know a damned thing about hockey and so we’ll just pretend it’s AHL, which to Lahrs means minor league.)

The Swedish tourism board created their Call a Random Swede campaign for a quirky stint on selling their country to the rest of the world, so let’s finish on a touristy note. Lahrs tells me that his favorite part of Stockholm is Old Town. “The architecture and well it’s a nice old place,” he says.