This is the story of one man’s valiant efforts to take the fledgling English side from the East part of Brighton, Whitehawk FC, up the English footballing pyramid in Football Manager 2017. This will not be pretty, but I will unflinchingly and bravely take the post and vow never to conveniently turn off my computer in the midst of a particularly dire performance. (Note: I’ll do my best to also explain some aspects of FM17 to those who don’t know the game, but if there are questions, throw them in the comments).
Episode I, A New Hope
When I took over Whitehawk, I knew it couldn’t be as myself. Who would trust a bespectacled literature PhD with their club? Enter Doug Rugley.
Rugley is a former MLS stalwart: an American with English roots that would draw him back to his grandfather’s country.
He is a tracksuit man. The kind of old-fashioned sonovabitch who wears shorts and running shoes into a board meeting. He has a temper, an unslakable thirst for lager and whiskey, yet a softness for Robert Burns poetry. This is the kind of man who will take over Whitehawk in the 2016/17 season and who will attempt to bring the small club out of obscurity and onto the national stage.
When he takes over, he, too, is the nobody, desperate to earn the trust of the skeptical, purist English who are wary of this American “soccer” player.
First day
When I show up to the club on the first day, the team’s president Jim Collins sits me down to tell me its history. “This is a young club, Doug, but a proud and growing one.” The expectations at this club are high though. The minimum expectation is to qualify for the playoffs. Expectations around the league were that we’d win the league. How’s that for your first gig? I pulled at my collar and stretched my neck.
But my top priority was sorting out the backroom. The existing assistant coach Jimmy Dack seems like a good chap, but what he lacks is good ability judgment (9 Player Ability/11 Player Potential; these numbers are out of 20). I need a number two who can help me dig through the dross and evaluate our players; enter Chris Brindley (13 Player Ability & Potential).
Likewise, the rest of the backroom staff were found lacking in attributes. That is, except Head of Youth Development, who looks like a meth-addled pedophile, which while not an official Football Manager attribute, is a concern nevertheless. I want my regen youth players to train in a safe environment. I promptly scroll through my rolodex and hire my own staff, but the office is quiet suddenly with just me around, waiting for my new assistant to show up.
That day I have my first press conference and I am brimming with optimism. I answer the questions passionately. I’m delighted to be here and I’m looking to set out and create a new, positive environment for my players. We’re going to attack. DAMN THE TORPEDOS. But it’s just me and the only journo who cares, Andy Lacey. Andy, I’m sure, would come to be sick of me soon (by episode three, we will find that this is quite the opposite).
The squad
When Brindley finally shows up at the clubhouse a few days later, we take stock of what we have in our squad. No right back, no left wing, a crap goalkeeper, and no depth. Well, damn. Since this is the sixth division, we also have a transfer budget of $13k. So yes, we’re gonna be dumpster diving for some players. Possibly, we can find some donuts in there as well that can be used for staff breakfasts.
I send out my scouts with the prompt: “If he can breathe, isn’t under contract, and can play any of these positions, I want him.”
But there are some gems in this squad. My creative spark is a young Irishman named Frankie Sutherland. I call him “Frankie Teardrop.” Not the most technically gifted, perhaps, but Frankie has a great brain for the game. He knows where to be before anyone else.
At the back, I have two rocks: my veteran left back, Dan Harding, and the young left center back, Christian Scales. And of course, the central pivot of the squad is Sergio Torres, my Argentinian visionary. The man must put peyote in his Gatorade, he has that much vision.
None of the players coming in are going to light up the league, but perhaps they can fill out this band of gritty ruffians. My highest hopes lie in the relatively costly signing of a young goalkeeping prospect. At this level, it’s crazy to spend money on a 22-year-old goalkeeper, but his name is Amadeusz Skrzyniarz. Or, as I call him, “Lynyrd.” I offered the tiny club of Romsey $23k over the next four years and a promise of any profit (but let’s be honest, no one is buying him off me). But everyone involved with the club tells me this guy will be a star.
From day one, I’ve wanted to instill a free-flowing attack in the team, so I’m working on a 4-2-3-1 formation that will revolve around the skill of Frankie Teardrop and another left-winger I signed named Dale Jennings. The plan is to press high and allow the front four to stick to the attack. Dale will drift inside and interchange with Frankie. We don’t have fullbacks who like to bomb up and down the wings, so they’ve been given defensive roles.
The first test
After all the moves and all the training, it’s finally time for our first test: a friendly against Canvey Island. I did my research on Canvey Island, which is, spoiler alert, not really an island (unless you count creeks as bodies of water). However, the entry on bare-knuckle boxing on the town’s Wikipedia page is impressive, so I allow them to call themselves an island. I wonder briefly if this will tell us anything about our friendly.
But bare-knuckle this fight wasn’t, more of an aging sea lion slap-fest. Our striker Kevin Lisbie grabbed on the sloppy reset of the Canvey Island defense and slotted the ball in. Ten minutes later, though, Canvey Island walked through our defense on a counter a scored from the top of the box. An embarrassing lapse.
We went into the half and I delivered an impassioned speech that fell on deaf ears. The boys were lethargic in the second half. I subbed out Torres for the younger legs of Ahmed Abdulla. But then Dale Jennings went down with an injury. Christ, not this early. Hopefully it would prove to be minor. Without a backup left winger, I put in an AFC Wimbledon loanee named Egli Kaja, who mostly plays on the right. The game ended in a 1-1 draw. No Wikipedia entries would be made for this day, but there was a long road toward opening day.
Stay tuned next week for Episode II: the season begins.
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