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  • The Tailgate: The Potential Return Of Christian Ramirez

    David Martin

    January 3, 2017
    The Angle
    The Tailgate: The Potential Return Of Christian Ramirez

    In our new weekly feature, we ask fans around the grill for their opinions on the latest Minnesota soccer news. This week we ask the fans: “Current rumors suggest the Loons could be on the cusp of signing Christian Ramirez to an MLS contract. What’s your take?”

     

    pro-rel-guy
    “I can’t quite think of a way to make this an example of why America needs promotion/relegation, but I’ll grasp at a few straws and have your Twitter feed flooded in a couple of hours.”

    Ryan Gustafson, Website Hit Counter

     

    30-something-woman

     “Very excited about this move. Ramirez lit up NASL teams so bad most of them defected to other leagues to avoid him.”

    Eliana Lopez, Candlestick Tester

     

     

    30-something-white-guy

    “My fortune cookie suggests he will have big luck in a new endeavor if he is deployed as a number 7, 10, 14, 22, or 46.”

    Vernon Bruek, Onion Bloomer

     

     

    30-something-white-woman“Great news. United should be set with a full starting XI in time for the 2018 opener.”

    Tashida Roland, Open Mic Host

     

     

    20-something-white-guy“Ultimately, this is pretty disappointing. How am I supposed to pretend I know all about a foreign signing no one has heard of when we sign someone everyone knows?”

    Dylan Retspi, Coal Miner

     

    What do YOU think? Tell us in the comments.

    Christian Ramirez, Minnesota United FC, tailgate
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    11 responses to “The Tailgate: The Potential Return Of Christian Ramirez”

    1. Jim Oliver Avatar
      Jim Oliver
      January 3, 2017

      This is valuable content.

      Reply
      1. Offensive Loons Fan Avatar
        Offensive Loons Fan
        January 3, 2017

        It’s about giving the fans a voice. We live to serve.

        Reply
    2. Dave Laidig Avatar
      Dave Laidig
      January 3, 2017

      This gives me great hairstyle suggestions. I’m going to ask for the “Vernon” next time I’m in the salon.

      Reply
    3. itsallgood013 Avatar
      itsallgood013
      January 3, 2017

      I feel bad for you. If you’ve been… umm… relegated… to making Onionesque articles about a signing, you know it’s a slow news cycle. It would be nice of the club to give you something to actually write about. I’ve been as anxious about player signings/kit styling as the next fan. But I can’t imagine what it’s like when it’s your job and you get nothing.

      Reply
    4. Matt Avatar
      Matt
      January 3, 2017

      So is this feature going to be like the Onion every time? Confused if this whole feature is just a joke or will be an actual thing.

      Reply
    5. Dave DuJour Avatar
      Dave DuJour
      January 3, 2017

      Good to see that news stories are as factual and reliable in 2017 as they were in 2016. Gotta keep up those standards!
      /sarcasm

      Reply
    6. Andrew Lovgren Avatar
      Andrew Lovgren
      January 3, 2017

      BREAKING: Area Man Enjoys FiftyFive.One Satire

      Reply
    7. Bill Stenross Avatar
      Bill Stenross
      January 3, 2017

      Is Dylan actually Jamie Watson?

      Reply
    8. TeresaFC Avatar
      TeresaFC
      January 3, 2017

      I think Tashida is a little overly optimistic. Let’s not get carried away! I think Dylan was at the table next to me the other day at lunch…

      Reply
    9. Dan Avatar
      Dan
      January 23, 2017

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c43fc96dedc27a8fa4541fc18b19cd332c0bd59c5cae05459ba42ad216ea52de.jpg

      Reply
      1. Offensive Loons Fan Avatar
        Offensive Loons Fan
        January 23, 2017

        I hate you.

        Reply

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