Brazil 7 – Haiti 1

In the run-up to the match, all the focus was on the tenuous position of Seleção coach, Carlos Dunga. Could he get the historically creative, inventive, artistic offenses to actually score a goal? Would an uninspired performance presage his downfall?

For his part, Dunga appeared eager to score, with closeups making him look like an irritated Pete Rose. His frustration was reasonable, as his side spent enough time inside Haiti’s area to build a lovely summer home during the opening ten minutes. But it was a swift strike from outside the area that broke the deadlock; a hard charging Philippe Coutinho blasted it past the keeper, Johnny Placides’, right side.

Haiti briefly returned to life after the opening goal. But their flurries of attack seemed perpetually stalled just outside the box. As soon as Brazil rushed back to defend, the islanders seemed to remember how absurd it was for them to be on the same field, and they promptly capitulated.

All too easy for @Phil_Coutinho as he gets his second of the day to double Brazil's lead. #BRAvHAI #MyCopaColors https://t.co/m38RJlhHx9

— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) June 9, 2016

Despite second-half glimmers of hope from runs by Duckens Nazon and a consolation goal from the Carolina RailHawks’ James Marcelin, Haiti spent most of the rest of the match with forwards shrugging, midfielders conceding, defenders colliding, and their keeper panicking. The Brazilians camped out in their summer home, tacked on a few more goals, looked pretty, and were generally Brazil. It was the rout that their fans wanted, and that their coach needed.

Ecuador 2 – Peru 2

If you judge teams by their competition, then Ecuador certainly had reason to be confident before kick off. They held their own against Brazil. The same Brazil that just decimated Haiti. The same Haiti that held their own against Peru. By the transitive property, Ecuador should be prepared to beat (if not clobber) Peru.

It’s been a while since I did a math proof, but what the heck, let’s give it a shot.

Or put in math terms: Given E ≈ B and H ≈ P; If B > H, then E > P

But the first half took that elegant little equation and tore it up, tossed it in the air, and slammed me inside a locker…I mean…slammed the equation writer inside a locker…not me…definitely not me…

That turn from Christian Cueva was ????????????! #ECUvPER #MyCopaColors #CopaAmerica https://t.co/gQ8K6FfKnY

— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) June 9, 2016

First Christian Cueva and then Edison Flores executed two gorgeous turns inside of thirteen minutes to take a stunning lead over Los Amarillos. Suddenly, Los Incas looked like world beaters, group leaders, and a surging squad set to surprise Brazil.

But despite Peru’s position, and the increasing swagger of their Bill Nighy look-a-like manager, Ecuador remained focused on what they knew they could control: physical forward play, and incisive passing. Soon, their top flight talent re-leveled the match, with a beautiful half-volley from Enner Valencia and perfect pair of runs from Jefferson Montero and Miler Bolaños equalizing the score.

That was pretty, Ecuador. Bolanos finishes a lovely team goal to get back on level terms. #ECUvPER #MyCopaColors https://t.co/2f5Qhr2jpS

— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) June 9, 2016

From then on, both sides offered enthusiastic, if ineffective attacks. They eagerly raced up and down the pitch, knocking in hopeful crosses, slowing down the game only with desperate tackles or cries of unendurable pain. One final fit of stupidity led Ecuador’s Gabriel Achilier to draw a second yellow and a suspension, but as the referee played an advantage that went for nought. Peru had to settle for a draw and joint first place with Brazil.

How the draw, the moment, and Achilier’s forthcoming suspension play into the final equation for Group B is yet to be seen, just don’t ask me to write that equation.